there are two kinds of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

if elvis were alive right now, he'd be scratching at the inside of his
 coffin.

everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.

-an unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

 if at first you dont succeed-give up! no use being a damn fool.

-time is natures way of making sure that all the shit doesn't happen at
 once.

-falling in love is awfully simple. falling out of love is simply awful

all things being equal, you lose.

-you can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people
 some of the time, but you cant fool mom.

no job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong

-you can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.

only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles.